You are multi-faceted. You’ll never have one single passion, one single hobby, or one single life path. You are complex and interesting, and you deserve to know all of your life’s possibilities.
We have a habit of forcing ourselves into a box to become something definable. It could be because we want to portray a certain personality to our friends and family, or because we’re pressured to find one single passion like athletics, academics, or a profession. We limit ourselves and throw away the other life paths that might exist.
It wasn’t until I was a sophomore in college that I opened myself up to the other versions of myself that might exist. Before that point, I naively thought I already completed my self-discovery journey; there was no more to uncover within myself. I truly believed that I figured it all out. I had my hobbies and I had my personality. I “knew” what I wanted in the future and how I wanted my life to go.
I knew I wanted to be successful, that I loved studying the economy and money, and that I wanted to work at a large company and climb the corporate ladder. I knew I wanted to get married soon and have kids and a dog. I wanted to live in a nice big house with a picket fence and spend my life as a stalwart provider for a family. I knew all of these things about myself—or at least I thought I did.
Teenagers tend to think they’re always right – I was no exception. But I thought I was more right because my path seemed so mature, so heroic. It felt like I was fulfilling the “right” type of destiny with money, stability, morality, and purpose.
I didn’t consider, however, that my morality and purpose could change. I definitely didn’t think that a point would come where some of those things would become my enemy (I’m looking at you, money and stability).
I didn’t want to consider other paths in my life because they made me uncomfortable. If I could think of a better way to live, then that threatened my belief that I already knew my life’s path. It invalidated all the work I put into the goals I made for myself in high school. Don’t get me wrong, I still tried new things. Like new hobbies or interests, or maybe a new subject I was interested in. But I didn’t dare challenge the core beliefs I held about myself. That is, until I put myself in a situation where I had no choice but to change.
"Did You Hear That I Studied Abroad?"
I traveled to Madrid, Spain my sophomore year for a semester abroad. And, without being the outrageously annoying person who can only talk about how much studying abroad changed me, it did… kinda. It opened me up to a version of myself that finally allowed school, work, and profitability to take a backseat. I was finally someone whose money was not responsibly saved and budgeted. My money was purely a means to explore the world, other people, and my interests.
And before you assume what I got out of meeting that version of myself, hold on because it may not be what you expect. I didn’t want to keep being that version of myself. I enjoyed traveling and I enjoyed meeting new people, but I also wanted more. I realized that I wouldn’t like a life where I had an endless budget to spend on traveling, drinking, and partying with no responsibilities or goals to work toward.
I wanted more. I wanted a purpose that extended past leisure and comfort.
And that’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy my time abroad. It helped me discover what I really wanted. But after four months of abroad, I was excited to re-engage with the old version of myself that was constantly focused on productivity, wealth, and stability.
I returned to America, excited to get back to work, but something felt missing. I liked parts of my life in Madrid, and I didn’t want to let them go. I liked that travel, adventure, and wonder were baked into my everyday life. I could hop on a train any day and be somewhere amazing. I went out with my friends constantly, dancing at clubs and running through the city (although maybe now I won’t do that 4 out of the 7 days of the week). Even though I knew I didn’t want carefree travel and leisure to be my entire life, by meeting that version of myself, I knew I wanted it to be a part of my life.
I made it a point to travel with my best friend on weekends, which I wouldn’t have done before. Before traveling abroad, I only knew of “vacations” as week-long events that you save all your money and PTO for. They needed to be meticulously planned, saved for, and done sparingly. I never thought of travel as a lifestyle. But why can’t it be?
My friend and I made a plan – we promised to go on a new adventure every weekend. And that we did. We took weekly road trips to different places around America. We met new people, saw new places, and experienced the world on an everyday basis.
I didn’t want the end-all-be-all of my life to be travel, but I wanted it to be a much more significant portion of my life. I wanted that version of myself to have a moment in the sun more frequently. Even though I knew that being a world traveler wasn’t my sole destiny, I realized that it was a part of it.
Meeting Other Versions of Myself
Once I knew that other versions of myself existed, I wanted to meet them. I no longer feared experiencing things and ideas that challenged my current identity I viewed it as a chance to learn. Maybe I’d learn something that would make my life better. So, I went off exploring.
There was a version of myself that wasn’t religious, one that was religious, one that loved partying, and one that didn’t drink at all. I met a version of myself that wanted to start my own business, one that wanted to make a lot of money, and one that could live off of nothing.
It was never about deciding which version of myself to settle on, but rather about discovering which parts of each version of myself were worth keeping around.
My most recent discovery launched all of this: I realized that I’ve always tailored my choices to corporate life. Even though I met many versions of myself in college, I only allowed myself to be a person who’d eventually have a stable, office-based future. I spent my summers making money and building my resume, and I spent all my free time during school doing the same. But I wondered if I could let my dreams dictate my professional life, not the other way around.
The more I talked about it with my close friends and family, the more I wanted to do it. Too many people give up the ability to be that 25 year old vagabond that travels, dreams, and adventures in the years before life gets too complicated. As the old saying goes, “Youth is wasted on the young.” I was not going to let my life become another proof of that quote.
My Path From Here
As I gear up for the next steps on my journey, I’m reminded again of all the versions of myself I’m excited to meet, and how they might influence the rest of my life.
I started The Otherwhere Project because I thought that, maybe, my story was valuable. I don’t think of myself as an idol or mentor, but I know how it feels to be living a life I don’t like. I know how it feels to want a better life, but to have no idea how to get there. If that sounds like you too, follow me. Learn from my mistakes and improve upon my actions. No matter what though, you must explore. Get lost in yourself and see what you discover. See what other versions of yourself you meet.
See what you feel like as a traveler, a career professional, a skydiver, a farmer, you name it. Just learn about yourself. It’s a privilege to know what you want and don’t want, and it takes time to figure that out. It takes risk, but it’s a risk worth taking because it allows you to grow. It allows you to know who you are, and who you want to be
It can be frustrating to be someone you’re not good at being yet, but that’s okay. You’re learning. And, if it makes you feel any better, I’m learning right alongside you.
We’re on our way to Otherwhere, step by step.